It had been four days. Four days since she'd last seen him. Was he dead? Had he run away? Wendy looked over the vegetables without seeing them, picking a few up and putting them down. She looked as if she was in a dream. People moved around her very quickly and she moved slowly. She wasn't sure if some of the people at the stands were yelling or not. She glared back automatically.

It was the glaring that reminded her where she was. She blinked and hurried a little, looking over the vegetables more closely now. There was really no need. She was on a budget and only the lightest, and least healthy looking would do for her supper. At least she could eat more than usual... She had almost fainted at work the other day. What an embarrassment that had been.

Besides that she noticed she had been rapidly losing weight. For someone who was already skinny and malnourished from years of living off of very little, this wasn't a good sign. Even she had the sense to know when she was in trouble. She'd been hoping he was going through a phase...

Her hand tightened viciously on a squash for a moment. She took a deep breath. She couldn't cry in front of all these people. She was done with crying...

At least that's what she told herself.

Life in Vienda was different. Things felt different, looked different...they even smelt different. To say that the young naive redhead that had been here before Bethas 26th was still the same person browsing the market place would be a lie. Khymarah had changed. She'd lost her rose tinted glasses, she'd lost her ability to trust at the drop of a hat.

She'd lost her innocence.

Turning one of the firmer squash in front of her, she glanced around for something a little smaller. It was just her in that big empty, pointless house. There was a hand futher down in the vegetable pile, gripping a sad looking squash like it was going to run away or something. Following the arm upwards, her dual colored eyes stopped on a familiar face. The galdor paused, hand on squash, unsure if she should say hello or not. Wasn't Moore looking for...

"Wendy?"

"What? I wasn't doing anything!" Wendy said automatically, dropping the squash like a hot brick. She froze. She had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed the familiar field lurking near by. Her mouth opened and shut a few times, and her face lost color as she stared into the face of a woman who had once saved her from one of the more vicious galdori at the school.

Does she know?

The question ran around her head without an answer. Someone bumped into her and the motion reminded her where she was.

"Ah-- you must be confusing me with somebody else, Lady." She really wasn't good at imitating the local accent. "In fact I need to get going now..." She trailed off when she realized she hadn't paid yet. "As... soon as I pay."

Does she know what I did?! Wendy was ready to bolt at the first sign that Khymarah might want to take her in. For what she had done to that boy, of course. Her stomach clenched as she thought of it, but her hands remained steady as she began to fish around in the leather purse she carried around her waist.

Khymarah watched Wendy with a half confused expression, looking around at the people, before back at the passive. What was with the bizzare accent? Frowning, she shook her head. Something was obviously not quite right here. Turning her head slightly to look at the squash, she nodded once.

"I see, well...sorry for the confusion. I must have mistaken you for someone else." Her voice clearly indicated she was lying. Sighing a little, she smiled.

"You see, if you had been my friend, I would have asked if you wanted to come in for a meal. It's awfully empty at my home lately. Everyone seems to be moving away for greener pastures, and I have a whole house and a whole kitchen to myself." Looking at Wendy purposely, she inclined her head toward the road leading to the north west.

"I live right over there, beside the bridge, near the river. Big hedged wall, can't miss it really. Perhaps, if you see my friend, she looks a lot like you, you could let her know I will be there if she needs to talk." Pausing, she raised an eyebrow delicately.

"T-ta'be sure, Lady." Wendy mumbled with a bow, handing the vendor her cash and then rushing away, her ears burning. For a small moment, she hated Khymarah a little bit for knowing her so easily. Blast this stupid, unchangeable face!

When she got home she paced. What would she possibly have to say to her, anyway? Only bad things would come from revisiting the past... and the offer for food was frankly insulting!!! She could feed herself!!! She glanced over at her meager gatherings from the market. A small squash, a small carrot, and an onion. She had been planning on making soup. Honestly it wasn't too appetizing. Wendy wasn't the best cook.

She sat down and put her hands over her mouth, as if that would help shut off the internal waterfall of thoughts rushing around inside of her.

No. I'm not going. What for? To talk?! About what!?

How she had gone from thinking that to standing outside of the Theraldon Manor was baffling to her. She stared at the door and raised her hand to knock. Put it down again, began to turn away....turned around, raised her hand to knock again.

It occurred to her that there was a bell. She pulled on the string, wincing at the clear sound it made, feeling like she was calling attention to herself.

Khymarah watched the passive pay for the little collection she had and run away, a slight frown on her face. She of all people knew the importance of keeping secrets, but Wendy didn't know that. It was obvious she was worried...frightened...of the redheaded's presence. With a small sigh, the galdori finished shopping and headed back to her home.

Placing the basket on the kitchen bench once she entered the large, empty manor, she proceeded to cut and peel the squash, potatoes and carrots, adding them to an already simmering pot of thick, meaty casserole sitting on the stove top. Why she cooked so much was beyond the redhead, she could quite easily sustain herself on a small bought meal. But it highlighted just how alone she was, sitting to an already made meal every night. At least this way...

There was a ring of the bell.

Wiping her hands, Khymarah made her way through the kitchen, through the lobby and to the front door. Opening it slowly, she peeked at the person on her doorstep, before opening it fully.

"Ah, hello Wendy. Please, come in." She said with a smile.

Wendy blushed and went in, feeling guilty for thinking hatefully of this woman.

"I wasn't going to--" She stopped herself. Took a breath. "At the market I panicked. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to look...rude." Wendy pulled a piece of hair behind her ear, looking down at the floor. She looked very small.

"I um. How have things...been?" Her hands were prickling with fear. Did Khymarah suspect why she had run? Probably. What if she said something?

Wendy tried to shut her mind off.

Shaking a hand dismisivly, the galdor turned slightly, allowing the passive full entry to her home.

"You don't need to apologize, I think I may have starteled you, which I apologize for myself." Closing the door gently, she turned to the girl, looking so small and so...afraid...in her large and ultimately empty home.

"Things have been...interesting..." The redhead said with a small pause, dual colored eyes looking distant for a moment, before focusing on the girl again. She had run away from Brunnhold, thats what Moore had said, but indeed, here she was now, quite easily recognizable in that crowd...well, except for the thinness of hunger and something in her eyes. Had she left and comeback? Had they found her? Moving forward, Khymarah beckoned her.

"I've been travelling, you see. Left Vienda for a little while in Bethas, which I must say was an eye opener. I don't wish to do it again in a hurry. Please, come in to the kitchen and sit down. I'm making a casserole, but its not ready yet. Perhaps you would like a cup of tea?"

Khymarah looked older than the last time Wendy had seen her. She knew they were probably around the same age, although at the school it had felt as if the redhead was younger. There had been something ridiculously innocent about her then that Wendy had been able to see through her own bitterness. And now?

"That would be lovely." Wendy said quietly, letting her eyes flick over the redhead's face. Definitely older. And there was something tired that hung around her field. It was an emotional state that the passive was very familiar with.

"Why were you traveling?" She asked, trying to keep the topic off of herself. "Business?"

Khymarah motioned for the passive to take a seat at the kitchen table, turning to her ridiculously massive stove and turning on the kettle burner. Filling the kettle and placing it on the hob, she then entered the walk in pantry, taking out the tea making set, already placed on a fine silver tray. Coming to the to the table, she placed the tray down, comlete with fine porcelin cups and saucers. Sitting opposite the girl, the galdori smiled a little humorless smile.

"Yes, business. You might call it that." The redhead said in a soft voice, eyes distant. If business involved slowly suffocating people and killing men with their own hand...you might be right. Shaking off the bad memories, she looked at Wendy as they waited for the kettle to boil.

"I think a lot has happened since you and I last saw each other. To both of us." She paused to gauge her words carefully, knowing how easily this could go wrong.

"I have secrets Wendy, secrets that would ruin me for life. I know how important it is to keep secrets." Her duel colored eyes watched the girl for a moment, before she rose to get the now whistling kettle. Taking it off the hob, she came back, pouring it into the teapot. Setting it aside, she dropped a mesh container with tea leaves into the porcelin pot, before sitting back.

"I want you to trust me when I say, I want to help you Wendy. If you want to talk, or even have a place to stay, I give you my word I wont tell a soul. Even more than my word, I will tell you my secret. A tale for a tale." Her heart beat in her throat, knowing there were too many ways this could end. Wendy looked terrible, and the galdor wanted to help, but she wanted to assure the passive she wouldn't tell Brunnhold. If it meant telling the passive about her activites, it was worth it.

Wendy quirked an eyebrow at the dry response. That was new. She nodded at her next statement. A lot had happened. She tried to think back over the last month. She had killed that boy, run away from Brunnhold, found Viator, moved to Vienda, got in a fight with a doctor, got a job, lost Viator again... She felt an icy hand grip her stomach and she slowly unclenched the hands that had balled up automatically at the thought. It was difficult.



Wendy looked down. The very fact that she was here in Vienda was a secret. Her whole existence was a secret. Even seeing Khymarah now felt like she was exposing herself to something dangerous. But there was another feeling as well...When she was a girl she had remembered sharing secrets. The way there had been a certain thrill that came with the knowledge that these things weren't supposed to be told. But it wasn't quite like that now. It felt as if there had been something choking her, and now she was slowly being released. Even though it felt good, it was as scary as being held back.



"I don't-- " I don't need help. She glanced at her reflection in the silver spoon and winced. She looked tired. More, even, than she had looked in Brunnhold. "You don't have to tell me your secrets. Not-- not unless you want to. I'll tell you...No bribes needed." She knew where to start, but she couldn't open her mouth to begin. The icy hand that had gripped her stomach moved its way to her throat. What little color there was in Wendy's face was slowly leaving it.

She couldn't find the courage to start. Her hand moved up to her mouth and pressed itself to it, physically preventing her from saying anything. Wendy let out a little noise. She couldn't do it. Tell a golly?

"I can't. I can't." Her hands slipped up to cover her face. She was visibly shaking. "I'm sorry...I--"

Get a hold of yourself. She pulled her hands away from her face.

"The boy. The boy that killed Pascual. That was me." She hadn't meant to let it come out so angrily. "I killed him." It barely slipped past her lips. Her hand jumped back to her mouth and pressed hard. She looked as if she might bolt any moment.

Khymarah watched the passive carefully, watched her struggle with her own self. It was almost enough to tell her to stop, to not worry about it, but then she spoke.



The galdor sat quietly for a moment, thinking as she silently poured tea into the two cups in front of them. There had been something about the school, a bit of an upset so she recalled, but nothing had been said in the media about a death. Or even two deaths. Then again, Brunnhold would never accept something that contriversial released to the public.

Setting down the teapot, she looked at Wendy, concentraiting on making her field as non-threatening as she could.

"What happened exactly?" She asked in a soothing voice, quiet and sympathetic, lifting her tea and sipping it gently. She couldn't picture Wendy killing anyone, not on purpose and not without reason...and she knew from experiance sometimes it had to happen.

Wendy stared at the steaming water miserably. She thought she'd gotten over this. The passive suddenly looked incredibly tired.

"He came to apologize to me. I just-- I just lost it." She looked down at her hands. A flash of memory and they were covered in blood. "He was kneeling and I-- I kicked him in the f-face. And then I couldn't stop. When I could-- When I could finally make myself stop his face was turned to pulp...I took my shoes off and I ran to the dormitories... I stole some boots and a dress, grabbed my things, and left."

She shifted in her seat and trailed off. "Other things... other things have happened." Her whole body slumped as her mind wandered back to Viator. Where was he? What was she going to do without him? Never mind that he hadn't been bringing food to the table for the past week, never mind that he came home slobbering drunk... She needed him. She was sure of it.

Her brown eyes flicked back to Khymarah. Wendy looked resigned. Almost as if she had given up. Whatever happened would happen.She was sick of trying to run circles around people.

Khymarah listened quietly, barely sipping her tea as the young woman spoke, unable to picture an act of such violence coming from the slight passive before her. Whatever this boy had done, it was something very very wrong. She placed her cup down as Wendy looked at her. Dejected, hollow...she knew that look. She'd worn that look for weeks. Standing, she moved around the table to sit beside the passive.

"I'm sorry Wendy." The russet haired galdor said softly, tentivly placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Nothing was said to me when I last saw Professor Moore...and I would think they would take something like that very seriously in the school. You say he was a mess, but..did you actually see him perish?" Her eyebrows drew together and she squeezed Wendy's shoulder gently.

"It can sometimes take quite a lot to kill someone, and even then, healers - powerful healers can bring people back, sometimes." Her voice was low and serious, motherly in a sense. Taking a moment, she waited before speaking again.

"If you don't mind me saying so, dear, you look like the whole world has ended. I know what happened at Brunnhold was a traumatic experiance...but...was there something else?" The pot on the stove top began to stutter as steam escaped the lid. Khymarah ignored it for the time being.

"I don't know, I don't know..." She moaned, rubbing her temples. "Does it matter? Even if he wasn't-- dead, I-- I intended to kill him. I didn't go mad, I remember thinking... I remember thinking 'I'm going to kill him for what he did'. I would do it again." She said it with some surprise, as she realized that she actually would do it again.

"You weren't-- you weren't there. G-gods it was horrible. There was so much-- so much blood." She wasn't talking about Bronley now. "And it was all because of that bastard." She wiped her eyes automatically. Wendy had become used to crying.



She took a moment to calm herself down and nodded. "When I left I went to Surwood and I found an old friend there... We've-- We've been traveling together. But he's ch-changed. As soon as he got here he got in a fight. He sh-shot someone, Khymarah! What was I supposed to do, smile and nod!? I stopped speaking to him and now he's gone and I don't know if he's-- if he's dead, or hurt, or if he just left because he was tired of dealing with me."

Khymarah frowned, rubbing Wendy's shoulder a little. She knew that tourment, thoughts of Ivan Mottoni still made her stomach turn. He frightened her sometimes, a human on the edge of becoming a criminal. A taboo for her kind. The doctor captivated her like a moth to a flame, she couldn't help it, but her heart suffered because of it. Too many times she fretted, worrying that one day, he would turn up in a gutter somewhere, dead or hurt. There were secrets he kept from her, more than resistance secrets. Why did they do it?

"Oh Wendy, I'm sorry. I know what thats like...all to well." Swallowing back the lump in her throat, she pulled a clean white handkerchief from her sleeve and handed it to the passive.

"Its not fair on you he did that, especially if he cares about you. Sometimes though, they are so caught up inside of themselves...they push you away because they think it saves you." Her voice became softer as she spoke and her emerald-sapphire eyes looked distant, before she smiled at the girl.

"But it doesn't. It only kills you more inside." Sitting back, she finally looked at the rattling pot, moving to lift the lid and release some pressure. The smell wafted in a cloud from the pot into the kitchen air, and the galdor poked a carrot with a knife. Nearly done. Moving around, she began to light the phosphor lamps inside as outside the sky was a dark blue black. Sitting at the table again, she looked at the passive.

"I'm returning to Brunnhold in the new month. To start my studies, further my...my magic." She hestitated slightly, uncomfortable with the word, unsure of how it made Wendy feel.

"Whilst I'm gone, you can stay here if you like? No one would question it, I have wicks and humans here on occasion. I think my neighbours are used to it." Folding her hands on the table, she smiled.

"And if you like, I could offer you an income...in exchange for...for house sitting. Its big, and sometimes its lonely, but its safe."

Wendy tried to keep herself from looking shocked at the amount of trust Khymarah was implying. "You-- you want me to take care of your house?" She managed to squeak out. The passive should have remembered the galdori eccentricities that Khymarah had. The offer seemed like a godsend. Steady pay-- probably high, knowing the redhead-- a large house (with a library!), free from the smells of the city streets... and all she had to do was tidy up a bit.

All she had to do was...clean... for a galdor...

Her stomach clenched involuntarily and she blushed a little. Heat crawled up to her face.

"I can't." She said, practically tasting the guilt that was welling up inside of her. "I...already have a job." Her unsaid words hung in the air around the room. And you're a galdor. The guilt was new. Her pride had never let her have regrets about being rude, or lazy around her old race. But Khymarah had invited her into her home, listened to her, and even trusted her with her house. Those things were not to be taken lightly.

The trust, more than anything, caused Wendy's stomach to clench. What had she done to deserve that? The color in her face increased.

"Sorry." She mumbled. Sorry. Working for you would just feel like another cage. How could she explain that without offending the woman? She rubbed her temples. "There's...responsibilities...I have to... I must do this on my own."

Khymarah watched the color rise to Wendy's face, and immediately regretted her words. Too easily she forgot her friends were different to her. Much different. A simple offer, such as hers, meant to imply a place to stay, became something entirely different. Hadn't she learned her lesson with Fion. Inside, a part of her cringed...damn her race...damn her heritige.

"That's alright...I didn't even think. Forgive me, I..I just don't think when I speak sometimes." Shaking her head, she left the table, turning off the stove and taking the lid off the casserole.

"Would you like bread with this? I mean..that is...if you would like some at all. I'm sorry, I shouldn't just assume things...I did the same thing with the seamstress...and she...well...nevermind." Taking a breath, she stopped herself, before looking at Wendy helplessly. She just didn't know how it was, to have that pride in self. Not like that. A big part of her envied the passive.

"Would you like something to eat, Wendy?" The redhead said again with an embarassed smile.

[Sorry this has taken so long. I'm a little out of it.]

Wendy shook her head lightly. "It's nothing..." She mumbled in response to Khymarah's embarrassment. As the redhead took the lid off the casserole, the smell wafted around the kitchen and hit Wendy's pallet. Her mouth watered automatically. She grinned helplessly at the galdori when she stumbled through her question.

"I'm not fool enough to say no to free food, when it's given in friendship." The passive smiled, a little unsure of herself. Was the hypocrisy too apparent?

Smiling back, the galdori quickly served up two bowls of the thick, rich casserole and brought it over, along with thick slices of fresh bread. Setting the dish in front of Wendy, she sat in her own chair and lifted her fork.

"Thankyou for coming Wendy, even if I do make a fool of myself. It's not nice eating alone." Nodding to herself, she began to eat, blowing on pieces of vegetables to cool them down. How did her life get so complicated? Sleeping with a human, hiding wicks, befriending passives. It seemed like a bad novel written to raise the blood of bored housewives. But it was real, and it was her life.

And she was loving it.