Nauleth really hadn't been a good friend lately. He wasn't entirely sure he'd been a good fiance, either. He may not have even been a good student. He'd been distracted, secretive, and more than just a little distant from everyone. He'd certainly not apologized for this behavior, nor bothered to bring it up in conversation.

It was easier to hide things, to keep things to himself, when he was simply avoiding everything.

For once, however, he might have begun to feel guilty. It was an odd feeling, a twinge of something unfamiliar and unwelcome. It was a bad aftertaste or a unplanned hangover.

The nagging feeling had finally reached something of an unbearable weight by the time the dark-eyed boy found himself hovering outside of Angus' door, mostly awake. If he put it off until after class, he'd just put it off until after dinner, until after homework, until ... tomorrow. Now was as good a time as any as long as the other boy was actually around.

Naul knocked once and cleared his throat, letting both hands find his pockets, already uncomfortable in his uniform, "Angie? Are you home?"

Hamis. Ham. Is. Ham is, ham is, ham is cold cuts, ham is boring, ham is good on sandwiches, sand which is in mugroba, mug robe... Ah.

Goddess on a stick Angus was bored.

He'd had a date with Dawin but that was two days ago, a lifetime ago and since then it had been nothing but rain, rain, rain and class and cold and complacency and Angus longed for heat and sand and a boyfriend he could snog because he couldn't snog Dawin he'd just freak out. Gods save him from quiet, untouchable intellectuals, how he loved them even if he didn't understand half a word they said, the way they said it was so gratifying. Like getting the showers to yourself and having a nice, long...

Someone was knocking on his door and scattering his thoughts which was good because they were all stupid thoughts and he hated them as much he hated the rain.



Betrayer! Cad! Bastard! Two tally Judas covered in mayonaise! Had it been anyone else he would have been overjoyed but no, instead he was bloody angry and overjoyed! Finally, some response to all the times he'd stomped loudly past Nauleth's door. Oh, the delicious satisfaction, it wasn't anywhere near as good as sex but it would do. Who was he kidding? He couldn't remember anymore, chances are this sensation was even better. The feelings of friendship that he had nursed like a wounded bird suddenly burst into flames and warmed him better than his duvet could hope to.

"We are not at home to Mr Siordanti!" Angus boomed, lying upside down on his bed, hands in the air and pointing, pointing! Even though it was rude to point!

He probably deserved that.

"Mmm. I see." Naul exhaled, voice containing all the sagging, speedy disappointment of a purposefully deflated balloon. He shuffled his feet, still barefoot, toes curling against the worn tiles of the hallway in indecision. He hovered, staring at the door and imagining Angus glaring at him from the other side. He might even have been pointing, Alioe forbid. His field was incensed enough, that was for clocking sure.

The dark-eyed boy stood in silence for several moments, gathering his precious and few nice thoughts.

"Would you take a message instead, then?" Nauleth smirked, struggling against the chagrined feeling rising in his chest to keep his tone from wavering in some pathetic, apologetic way. He was feeling amiable today, for gods' sake, and someone was going to clocking benefit from such a mood before it was too late. Or else something would have to be set on fire. Well, that might happen anyway ... but it was besides the point now.

Angus contemplated asking Nauleth if he would like to go fornicate with himself. He decided it just wasn't a very Worthing thing to say. He wanted to be the jovial one, the forgiving one, the one who was fun at parties.

Who was he kidding? He wanted Nauleth to have to work for it. His upper-class privilege was showing like red on a tomato. Angus could be quite easy to live with but when he was given an inch he could take a mile and sometimes did just that. It wasn't a likable trait.

"I don't know Mr Siordanti, he could be dead for all you know and then who would I give the message to?" Angus replied, hands now splayed in the air as if questioning the goddess. "He might have had a bad fall and maybe no one inquired as to his health and he just... dropped stone dead."

Angus sighed, so forcefully and loudly that he was sure Nauleth could hear him.

"They had a beautiful service in his memory. Everyone cried and threw themselves at the memorial portrait. You should have seen it." Angus added while affecting the fakest sad piety the world had ever seen up to that point.

"Well, I'm sure whoever you are doesn't want Angie's room, then. He might make a clocking terrible ghost, however ... considering he should be out moaning at the door of Harper's office or keeping me up at night. Surely, he would know that in the Afterlife." Nauleth replied with just as much a hint of impatience as taunting. If the other boy was going to play at difficult, he was prepared enough to see how far he could push the game.

He wasn't entirely in the mood to work for anything; he'd been working hard enough to keep his brain cells from leaking out of his ears, to pay attention in classes that no longer felt like they mattered, and to keep something so explosive a secret from the people he so desperately wanted to share it with the most.

It just so happened that the only way he could do that left gaping wounds in relationships in its wake. This was unfamiliar territory.

"I'm glad I wasn't invited. I probably would've embarrassed myself terribly." Naul smirked from behind the door, bordering on something apologetic. It grated like sandpaper at the back of his throat.

Angus, knowing Nauleth well, caught that hint of impatience and snorted quietly under his breath. He rolled his eyes at the ceiling, safe in the knowledge that Naul could not see him.

He would not have haunted Harper... No, not at all. Never ever. Ever.



There was the potential for them to fall into their usual pattern of playful verbal jousting after a fight. It would have been easy. Just another orbit completed around their friendship. Yet...

Angus was hurt. Normally it would have just gone away on its own but it wasn't and Angus was rubbish at pretending. He didn't lie well, he could cover his hurt with natural effervescence, when he had enough to spare. It just wasn't coming today.

He was quiet for just under a minute.

"I don't hear an apology in all this, Nauleth." Angus said, in a voice Nauleth had not heard him use before.

He was serious. His lively patter had been replaced by something deeper, sombre. It didn't sound like the voice of the boy that had suggested they get drunk before the start of exams. It might have even sounded like a younger version of Nauleth's father, which was surprising and possibly not pleasant at all to hear.

"What fo—er..."

Naul caught the retort before it was finished, snapping his mouth shut and staring frustratedly at the door. If Angus' tone was familiar, it was so without the added visual of the more stern expressions of disappointment he was used to from home. He hadn't been the one to miscast. He hadn't been the one to invite the crowd to the lunch table, either. And he hadn't the slightest clue how to keep Athrym's temper in check all the clocking time.

Besides, Angus seemed fine. Disgruntled, obviously, but otherwise unharmed. Things could've been worse, as far as he was concerned.

However, Naul recognized he'd let things fester for too long. He'd been too busy covering his ass to bother dealing with real things ... not that he ever really could claim to enjoy dealing with real things when they came to this sort of situation. At all. He would've preferred something easier. Like finding some reason to be indignant and leave. Unfortunately, after quite a while of awkwardly frustrated silence, he didn't. He couldn't.

"Look, Angus," he swallowed back anything biting from his tone, despite the internal struggle, "I'm sorry about how things went at lunch the other day, b—"

Naul stopped himself again to keep from adding anything particularly unnecessary, though it was sorely tempting to remind Angus that he wasn't entirely responsible for Athrym's behavior. Again, he was tempted to mention that he didn't exactly want to make the table he choose to sit at an open social event, either.

"—And I should've said ... something ... sooner."

Now he was feeling less amiable. Maybe not saying anything for a little while longer would've been more in his favor.

A moment passed and then the door opened. Angus was in his school uniform, his top three buttons undone for comfort and his feet bare. He leant against the doorjamb, looking first at Nauleth and then at the floor.

His right hand clenched into a fist, released, closed again loosely. Angus batted his forearm against his side. He didn't say anything. It was possible that Naul could see that he was trying to find the right words to say and the appropriate words and the words he actually felt, trying to choose between them.

"Thanks." He said, finally.

He ran his hand through his hair. He wasn't done yet. Yes he was. No he wasn't. He didn't know what he was.

"You can't communicate for shit." He said, lightness returning but not without an undercurrent of his previous tone. "They should offer a course. Talking About Our Issues: A Guide For Smart People Who Can't Express Feelings Good. I could teach it. They'd pay me lots of money and I'd sleep with all the hot students. The work would be hard but the results would be worth it."

"There's some things I ... can't talk about." Blurted the dark-eyed boy in frustration, having grown increasingly uncomfortable in the previous silence, "But, well, this isn't one of those things." He shuffled his feet with a sigh, hands white-knuckled in his pockets, "It wasn't my intention to, uh, sit on things so long, Angie."

Well, mostly.

The words were at least partial truth. At first, no, he hadn't intended to let things slip by, but each day made it easier to give him an excuse to procrastinate further in hopes the whole situation would blow over and he wouldn't have to deal with it at all. Because, again, he'd begun to feel the pressure of his choice to study secret things, and it was beginning to have an effect on everything else.

"Besides, would you need to get paid if you got all the hot students you wanted instead? I suppose you'd still need to eat, but still." Naul smirked, playing along with a mixture of teasing and deflecting.

He opened his mouth to add something else, looking away from Angus as he did so. He wanted to add that Athrym was hardly someone he had under his thumb in terms of control, and hardly someone he'd want to try ... to ... but, the words never made it past his thoughts, hanging shamefully behind his lips once he realized he was just making more excuses for bad behavior.

"I don't remember ever advertising my communication skills, anyway, but I'm not interested in taking a class I'd fail."

"You sure are being elusive today. You may wish to have a word with your missus." Angus said, wondering why Nauleth had piqued his curiosity by saying that he had unspeakable secrets.

Perhaps Nauleth wanted him to ask about them?

"Even if I were swimming in admirers, I would still need to eat. Perhaps you should take that class. Even if you failed, you'd learn something." Angus continued, moving away from the door and into his room, pushing the door wider so Nauleth would know he was welcome inside.

"You know, Athrym came to speak to me before you did." Angus left the words in the air.

Nauleth could ask him, if he wanted to. Angus had no idea what was going on between the two of them and for a short while, he hadn't cared. He'd been so angry that he wouldn't have given a hoot had they set each-other on fire. Even now, he felt like he cared more because of his admiration for Lady Bruthgrave than for the sakes of his two classmates.

Athrym had said she trusted Naul but Angus wasn't sure she did. She sounded confused by his behaviour. Angus was confused as well, although truly both of them confused him a bit. He knew why Nauleth got so angry, even if he didn't like it. He still did not know what drove Athrym and he didn't really want to find out.

Elusive? Today? How about every day? Naul's expression faltered slightly into something briefly uncomfortable, his eyebrows tightening above his aquiline nose one side before the other. He longed to share the tumultuous excitement of his secrets, of the studying behind closed doors that seemed to be against everything they sat in class for.

But, he couldn't.

Fighting back the slow appearance of a scowl, the dark-eyed boy didn't have it in him to argue about his communication skills. The mention of Athrym derailed any further thoughts on the matter, anyway.

"Spoke to you? About ... lunch? Or ... about—" He resisted for a moment, part of him not wanting to appear self-conscious, knowing it was only further proof of being deep into something, but, ultimately, he couldn't keep it from slipping,

"—me?"

Angus' lips drew together and off to the side.

"Not everything is about you." Of course, in this instance it actually was all about him. "She apologised for teaching me how to fly just because I wanted you two recluses to be a bit more social. You need wedding guests that aren't going to spit on the cake."

Mean.

He felt a bit bad about it.

Yes, definitely mean.

He should say sorry. He didn't really feel like it.

He sighed instead.

"Naul, all these things you can't talk about... How do you expect to marry a girl like Athrym and keep secrets from her? I'd call the whole thing off if someone did that to me. You're lucky she's sticking around, frankly." Angus said. "What's so important? Did you get a VD? You would not be the first and I'm sure she'd forgive you for having a life before her. Not that I've ever seen you with other girls. Better you tell her now than have her wake up with an ailment and decide to send you out a window."

Angus assumed the issue must be sex. It was one of the few topics Nauleth didn't talk to him about and one he didn't really want to hear about from Angus.

"It's not like you've joined a cult or anything, have you?"

Well, that was an option. He might have joined a cult. Those were supposed to make you act funny. Although, they were also supposed to make you kill yourself in short order or at least cut your hair.

Naul's face went through several different exercises in restraint and embarrassment in the brief moments it took for Angus to relate his comments. It was a little difficult to count them, blurring together into some mixture of frustrated discomfort as it was, but it might have been somewhat entertaining to any non-involved observer none-the-less.

He didn't want guests to his wedding. He still wasn't sure he wanted a clocking wedding at all. Eloping seemed so much ... easier.

He didn't want to keep secrets from anyone, but he also valued the breath in his lungs.

He didn't want to discuss his non-academic activities, particularly of any sexual nature, with Angus not because he necessarily felt lacking in the department any longer so much as ... well ... his dance card was most certainly on the more limited side of anything remotely conversational.

He didn't want to analyze whether or not Freja's worldview-shattering lessons could be constituted as a cult or not, either.

They probably could be.

"Uhhh." Naul blinked, no signs of offense immediately visible in his expression or tone, "N-not that I'm aware of ... on all accounts." He smirked, amused more than miffed, hoping to sweep the sudden wave of awkwardness as far away as possible, one hand straying to the now-short but slightly better kept strands of hair distractedly, unaware of any implications he may or may not have been confirming.

"I certainly didn't plan on getting caught up in anything that required this much difficulty, but it's a little too late for that now. Eventually, Ath will understand."

Or, he'd be dead. Either option seemed equally likely from this vantage point.

"Let's just call my issue an extracurricular activity that I am now obligated to until it's run its course." That was simple enough. Ambiguous. Maybe scandalous sounding, though that was not entirely Nauleth's intention. Freja's class was scandalous. It was melting his brain. With a bit of deflective humor finally creeping into his features, he added, "I'm sorry it's kept me from being myself ... not that I would be anymore pleasant otherwise, I'm sure."

The expression on Angus' face spoke clearly as to his feelings. His eyebrows lowered, his shining teeth hidden and his lips drawn into one long line beneath his darkening brown eyes. He thought it was absolute crap.

"That's crap." He said, voice dry as salt. "I've never heard of an extra-curricular that you couldn't talk about."

Well, whatever it was, he had warned Naul about Athrym and how he might be upsetting her. He never had thought of Athrym as the kind of girl who played second fiddle nor the kind who liked to be kept out of secrets. She was too headstrong for it, although not headstrong in the way Angus was.

"Well, if you can't tell me, you can't tell me. I hope your fiancee elects not to kill you." His voice was light as a stone being held up by a helium balloon.

He ran a hand through his hair. All this secrecy was so very last year, so very socialite-like. It had changed Nauleth somewhat, though Angus wasn't entirely sure how. It was no longer his business.

"Well, unfortunately I have matters of my own to attend to. Can't talk much about them, I'm sure. I am obliged to attend to them." He wanted to take a nap and then go for a run. "It has been a pleasure, do take care."

Angus slowly closed the door, so it made barely a sound.

Then he shouted through it, "I started courting someone the other day, a writer, you'd hate him."

It wasn't necessarily true but it might have been part of the allure.