'''Name:''' Shauna Koreen
'''Age:''' 17
'''Race:''' wick
'''Place of Origin:''' Surwood Isle

!!!Backstory
Shauna grew up in Surwood Isle with her father. Her mother died of Hypnagogous when she was ten. Both of her parent were wicks, but her father had high expectations of her.
Her father always wanted a son, and tended to treat Shauna like one, constantly sending her out to hunt and chop wood. She too off and became a spoke at the age of thirteen,
and adopted a bander wolf on her travels. She wasn't able to hold her own, and joined up with the Deep Water tribe, but disbanded shortly after two years.
Since then she has wandered on her own, hiding in the forests and shadows for protection while she sells her hand made wood figurines.

!!!Personality

Very spacious and unnatentive. She stares off into space without end. Shauna is usually very quiet and apologetic, with little to no talent in magic, despite being a wick.
Always at her side is her pet bander wolf, Dover, who was brown stripes and blue eyes. She seems to speak Tek quite a bit, even to those who have no clue what she's saying.
!!!Physical Description

About 5'4'' with lavender, shoulder-length hair pulled into a loose ponytail with a purple ribbon. She has deep brown eyes, and a brown bander wolf named Dover. She dresses modestly, with a ratted old brown cape and a forest green tunic, combined with a long brown skirt and leather boots.
She is moderately curvy, with a noticable D-cup that she tries to keep hidden.
!!!Inventory

Weapons:
A common Dagger
A hatchet

Stuff:
*A shoulder pack
*Dover (her loyal pet)
*Meat Cuts (preserved with salt)
*chunks of wood
*Money
*Old Spellbooks
*A copy of the Spoke's Almanac

!!!Career

*Artisan
*Whittles many small crafts out of wood
*Has a good eye for detail

!!!Goals

To make her way in the world and ultimately find people who love her the way she is.

Hello and welcome to Thorns!

Thanks for submitting your sheet. The mod team will now go over it as a review and we'll be posting on your sheet again shortly.

Hi Shauna, welcome to the game! We just have a few notes for you.

Firstly, could you neaten up the formatting of this sheet for us? Specifically, could you put a * before every list item, and fix your paragraph structure (you don't need to hit enter after every sentence)

We feel like the backstory is a bit sparse right now, and we don't get a clear idea who your character is. To help fix this you could go into more detail about her relationship with her father. Why did she make a decision to run away? What did she do while she was on her own? How did she get in with the Deep Water? Why did she leave them? Why does she feel the need to hide?

Also, I'm concerned that she wouldn't be able to make much of a living selling figurines if she lived in the woods. Hardly anyone ventures into the woods, and certainly not expecting to find a figurine vendor; that's really the kind of job that a nomadic wick would have. Also, living in the woods might prove problematic to roleplay for the same reason - you just wouldn't meet many people! You might want to consider having her living on Surwood Isle, a bit away from the rest of the wicks, selling more practical wares (maybe pelts or meat). This way there's plenty of opportunity to meet others but she's still a bit of a loner.

I'm getting kind of an antisocial vibe from her but it's not mentioned in the backstory. Could you expand this a bit more?

Lastly, a general check-up for grammar and sentence fragments would do this sheet some good

thanks in advance!

Bumped, as a reminder Are you making headway on your edits? Do you need any help?