Thorns: Uprising - <!-- IF S_IN_MCP -->Moderator Control Panel - <!-- ELSEIF S_IN_UCP -->{ UCP } - <!-- ENDIF -->View topic - Norbella Lee

Thorns: Uprising - View topic - Norbella Lee

Thorns: Uprising - <!-- IF S_IN_MCP -->Moderator Control Panel - <!-- ELSEIF S_IN_UCP -->{ UCP } - <!-- ENDIF -->View topic - Norbella Lee

Thorns: Uprising - View topic - Norbella Lee
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Please post your character sheets here, following the formatting guides laid out in the sticky. Moderators may request edits to your sheet, so please reply each and every time you edit it during the approval process. Once your sheet is approved, a moderator will reply with an approval message, and your thread will be marked. Do not begin roleplaying with your character until your sheet has been approved!



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 Norbella Lee 
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 8:51 pm
Posts: 1
Real Name: Jackie
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Post Norbella Lee
'''Name:''' Norbella Lee
'''Age:''' 16
'''Race:''' wick
'''Place of Origin:''' Mugroba
'''Occupation:''' Drifter and part time street snitch and a hopeful acrobatic performer
!!!Backstory
Growing up as the only daughter to her single mother, who for her only guides she learned from a young age to rely on herself since her mother was busy dancing for the enjoyment of the men in the village. As time progressed and she was left more and more to her own devices, this gave her plenty of time to learn some of the most basic tricks and magic required to be a small time snitch. As time progressed her ability to slip in and out of people’s pockets did too.

Her mother learning of her daughter latest hobby decided to try and tempted young Norbella away from the life of crime and began teaching her the basics of acrobatics. It was her mother’s hope that the young girl would become in gulped by this skill and leave the life of crime behind. For awhile the lime light did pull the young girl away, but the spark that Norbella felt for acrobatics only last as long as her mother’s life did. One morning during a dawn practice season her mother miss stepped and quickly dropped to her death while helping her practices. This single event sent the girl into a downward spiral of petty crime after petty crime. It finally got to the point that she was left no choice but to leave her home and being to drift.

Drifting thru towns and cities she began to learn the skill of pick locking an ability which make snitching sometimes easier. Her and Chirp the osta just went from place to place relying of themselves but over time the existence got old and by the summer of her 15th year she began practicing her acrobatics in hopes that one day she will be able to rely upon this skill and not her ability to swipe things off a person as they walked by.

!!!Personality
A happy smiling face and almost a whimsical outlook on life seem to dominate her personality besides when she is busy working the streets looking for a target then she is tough as nails and dead serious about the task at hand.

!!!Physical Description
Small almost doll like girl, standing just barely 5’1, maybe weighing 100 pounds. Her skin is lightly sun kissed with her cheek bones being dusted with freckles. Chocolate brown hair that is cut in a downward angel until it reaches below her collar bone giving her the ability to pull the front of her hair up and away from her face. As her hair moves towards her face the color fades away until it’s a blonde almost silver color, striped with a dark almost royal blue in six place, though the two chucks that fame her face are done in teal to bring out the color of her eyes which her eyes are almost blue green and almost teal in color set with tick eyelashes. Her clothing consist of a loose white blouse which is tucked into faded gray pants that she has tucked into her old warn soft soled faded brown leather boots. Small studded earrings rest in her ears almost the stone in between the casings beginning back in color, matching the small black stone charm hanging from the bracelet.

!!!Inventory
*Animal: An osta named Chirp
*Weapons
** 2 flat edge knifes which are hidden in her boots
**4 throwing knifes which are kept concealed on her person
** A pair of brass knuckles which hang from her waist by several multi colored ribbions
* Items in her old warn leather backpack
** A bedroll striped to her pack by leather straps
** 2 days worth of food
**A Water canteen
**Sewing repair kit
**Tarot cards that belonged to her late mother
** Makeup and hair dye
** A small bag with a few coins in it
** One bright blue skirt covered with several patches
** One extra white shirt but this one has a lower v neck
** One bright blue head scarf
** A collection of silver bangles
!!!Skills
*Pickpocket (intermediate)
*Lock picking (basic)
*Dodge
*Sidestep
*Acrobatics
!!!Tricks
Simple spells suck as Lamp, Trip, Fix, Spark..ect.



!!!Goals
*Short-term: Make it thru the day without being caught by the law
*Long-term: To find a family to belong to and to perfect her acrobatics so she can stop being a snitch.


Last edited by Norbella Lee on November 12th, 2009, 3:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.

November 12th, 2009, 1:24 pm
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Post Re: Norbella Lee
Welcome to Thorns! Thanks for submitting your character sheet. The mods will be discussing and get back to your shortly! ;D

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November 12th, 2009, 1:33 pm
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Joined: May 30th, 2009, 9:35 pm
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Post Re: Norbella Lee
Hello! Before you start playing there are some edits your sheet needs to go through. We really like your concept, but we think it needs tightening up!

1. Your grammar, wording, and spelling really need some work. Issues like 'thru' and 'through', lack of comma placement, run on sentences, periods etc. There's also some odd word usage that you could correct, like 'snitching', which doesn't mean what you think it means, and 'in gulped'-- I think you meant to write 'engulfed'? Issues like this are common in people's first sheets, and the more you write the easier it'll get to spot them, so don't be discouraged-- but do go over your sheet carefully and correct the problems and issues you might not have seen the first time.

2. Her place of origin is Mugroba, but you've described her with different traits than most Mugrobi people have-- here's a page to help you with some of the genetic appearances: http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... ppearances

If you're not comfortable changing her appearance, you could just change her place of origin-- that would also solve the next issue which is

3. Her name. Norbella Lee is a pretty name, but it doesn't really fit with the Mugrobi naming conventions. For more information you can look here: http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... onventions

4. Norbella saw her mother die, but her outlook on life is whimsical and cheerful? It'd be nice to see some more character development in that area-- some explanation to show why and how Norbella got over this tragic incident.

5. Lengthen her personality, please.

6. This is the last issue. She's very tiny, and an acrobat would need more muscles and weight for uh...acrobat...ing... XD Maybe adjusting her weight and height so she's a little stronger?


Thanks for joining thorns!! When you make your edits, post again so we know to look at the sheet again! <3 <3

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November 13th, 2009, 1:24 am
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