'''Name''': Solitais Bolave

'''Current age''': 21 (Birthday is the 27th of Achtus)

'''Race''': galdori

'''Place of Origin''': Vienda

!!!Backstory:
The Bolave family was located in Vienda. They were a family who spoke out against the lower races of men. They were entirely open with their superior elitist thoughts and put a great deal of hard work into the world to show it. Solitais was often taught by his parents , "Those who have the right and the dedication must strive to achieve greatness." When he was at the age of 10 a band of highwaymen set up a raid and killed of the parents and grandparents who were with Sole on a trip to Muffey. Sole was left alive and later found by members of the AAF and transported to the Aquilla family, befriended family of the Bolaves. Being old enough, he was sent to Brunnhold for training. Although the death had a monumental effect on his life, he would later in his childhood consider it another reason not to trust a lesser human.

At a young age, he saw how social hierarchies worked. If he was not strong and did not make friends, he would be pushed aside. He strove to become as popular with as many people as he was able to. While other children went and had fun, he worked at building a social circle of people that cared about him, even when he didn't care about them. His days were filled with training and magic, his nights at social events and political debates. He pushed himself to be aware of the political spectrum. He remembered his father's teachings, "Those who have the right and the dedication must strive to achieve greatness." He wanted to make his dead parents proud.

While in school, Sol met the acquaintance of one Horace Aquilla. Though 5 years his younger, Sol saw the importance of having family ties. He befriended the young student despite the oddity of having such a younger friend. More like cousins, they regarded each other kindly and wrote letters to each other. Though Horace would later go on in a separate career path, they enjoyed studying the living magic together through school.

After graduating, Sol quickly made his way to the city of Vienda. He worked non-stop to secure a place in politics. Getting a simple job as a clerk, he chose to balance his life to further pursuing the study of magic as well as pushing forward in being a more influential figure in politics.

!!!Personality:

Half of Sole's personality is what he does not show. He does not show his fear of being rejected. He does not show his hatred of entertaining people who he cares little about. He does not show his lust or agony of being alone. What he does show is his opinions on what is truly right and wrong in the world. He believes that those who are not able to wield magic like galdori do not deserve the same rights as the galdori.

He takes his family's honor and the pain he suffered as a child to heart. He grew up with a profound hatred of the lower races. He believes that lower races only want to ride on the coat tails of what the galdori have done. He supports the ban on reading and writing for the lessers. He does support the enslavement of the passives who can not use magic, but he would rather have nothing to do with the wicks and humans who wish to be a part of their society. To quote:

"Why give a human or a wick the right to read? What would they do with such a gift? The wicks have learned to read and now they try and manipulate what they can not truly comprehend. Because of this, they bastardize the very gift that was given to us. The passives are the poor rejected fools of our own kind. There is a sense of sorrow in their loss, but no more then a lost dog. Let the poor and useless pick themselves up and make their own way. Let them make their way, far away from this land that belongs to the galdori."

!!!Physical Description:
He is a healthy tone of Caucasian skin. Long brown hair that's pulled back into a small pony tail. Right now the pony tail reaches down to his shoulders. He has no physical abrasions or cuts, but his body is toned from keeping in well shape.

!!!inventory:
*Apartment with wardrobe, bed, other neccessities. He keeps a new set of clothes for practically every day of the week.
*Money-a small trust fund from a his family's inheritance which was given to him upon graduation. Kept in banks and stocks for less liquid access.
*He tends to wear proper attire as someone working in politics. He presents himself in only the most fashionable design. He loves the colors of red and black in his suits.

!!!Career:
Politics
*Works as a public speaker for the youth and as a clerk in the permit offices of Vienda. Usually travels between Brunnhold and Vienda as his needs require.

!!Goals:
How far can one man go in politics? Give him the right time and place and he would take the very seat of the throne from the dying king and make his will the will of the many. But even a proud man knows his limits. He bides his time. Working to push himself far up the spectrum of the political world. He desires to regain what his family name has lost. A new home, a new family, and to further the ideals that his family placed on him. Besides that Sole realizes something very important. He can not control what fate may have in store for him.

Hey, Sol. Welcome to Thorns! Thanks for submitting your sheet. Before the mods begin the reviewing process, could you please refer to these Wiki pages for how to format your Character Sheet and what information is needed to get started?

Character Sheet Formatting Guide:
http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... ormatGuide

Rules for Character Creation:
http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... erCreation

Character Creation Guide:
http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... ationGuide

Please make the necessary edits to your formatting and add the necessary details and let us know when you're done!

Thanks again!

Just reedited again. If you can check it again it would be great.

Thanks for being patient! Here's a list of edits we'd like to see to your sheet to get you closer to approval.

1. There is no word "wickish." Either the band of highwaymen that attacked Solitais' family was made up entirely wicks or it was a mixed band of different races. Both are plausible, but it would be best to simply refer to them as highwaymen instead.

2. If you could elaborate on how the Aquilla family came upon the scene of the massacre and managed to find Solitais that would be great. It is currently kind of mysterious how that happened, and it'd be something worth working out for the sake of story later. Spending some time on the personal affects the tragedy had on Solitais in your backstory is a good idea, too. Even if he was young enough to grow out of the hurt from the loss of his family, he most likely still experienced loneliness, insecurity, and other such struggles growing up under the care of people who were definitely not his blood relatives. While it is obvious the death of his family is the foundation for his more extreme hatred of wicks and other races, there may also be something to be said for a bit of general distrust of people because of his situation.

3. Specifying some about his racism may be helpful, but I won't say it's required. Wicks can and do use magic, unlike the other lower races. Solitais most likely witnessed this when the highwaymen slaughtered his family. So, considering how to word the depths of his racism (since it's only humans and passives who can't use magic) might be helpful for character development later on.

4. It is in your best interest to go back through and check your grammar, especially your tense. Please try to stay in past tense throughout your entire character sheet. Galdor/galdori does not need to be capitalized because it is not a proper noun.

5. Your statement about his hair growing as his ability continues to grow is ambiguous and confusing. It is not entirely within the Noble Uses of galdori magic, though admittedly some galdori women probably magically use Grow to fashion their hair in order to fit into that fashionable party look. While we're not entirely discouraging you from trying this, please understand that every time you cast, it will have to be a moderated activity (all magic is moderated on Thorns for our players), and that it is not always guaranteed to be successful. You can review the Noble Uses of magic here: http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... sesOfMagic

6. The commute from Vienda to Brunnhold takes an entire day. It is unrealistic for anyone to make that their daily travel schedule, especially a galdor who is busy. Even sleeping during the travel is still exhausting. It'd be like sleeping in the car or on a plane ride—you'd probably still wake up tired afterward. It would be best for your character if you focused on either pursuing politics in Vienda (we have two political NPCs there) or teaching at Brunnhold (which at 21 would be more of an internship or an apprenticeship instead of teaching unsupervised). Both have their advantages, but it's up to you to pick the direction you'd like for your character to go.

7. Your goals are also a little bit general. Clearing up your career should give you the opportunity to find some more specific goals. Perhaps a few short-term and one long-term goal would be good.

8. Lastly (thanks for hanging in there!), as a Brunnhold graduate ... what was Solitas' specialization? That'd be something good to write down in his backstory when talking about school.

Re-edit numero duo

Everything looks good now! You're approved, go have fun