Age: 22
Gender: Male
Race: wick
Hair/ Eyes: deep brown/ left eye: yellow and right eye: emerald green
Hometown: Old Rose Harbor in the Headland
Magic specialty: static magic but lightly versed in scrying
Languages: estuan and tek
Likes: taking naps, studying magic (but nothing else), having a "few" drinks at the local pub, flirting, and most anything that a guy in his 20's would do.
Hates: being bossed around, needlessly rude people, and watered down beer.
physical description: has long dark brown hair that is almost always tied into a ponytail, a vertical scar on his left cheek from a fight in his teenage days, wears a typical wizards hat and a trench coat, is in good shape, and has pale skin.

Background: born into a well off family, his father was a well respected and powerful galdori and his mother was a very beautiful human. As a youth Feanaro always got into trouble, mostly using his magic for practical jokes more than anything. His magic training began as soon as he could speak. Having almost no childhood to speak of, he lashed out as a teen and one day got into a fight with a local gang of petty thugs and and was cut with a 4" long dagger that would give him his trademark feature. And now as a young adult he enjoys the simple things in life, and has a very laid back and easy going attitude, even though people don't like that. (their probably jealous)

A boy!
How exciting!

Hi Feanaro, glad you see you finally posted.

Please read the Character Creation page on the wiki for a list of the things you need to include in your character sheet. The Character Creation Guide goes into more detail. Also, please read the "Read Me" sticky thread. Thanks!

I see, some added stuff:
Career: artist
Quirks: A bit punctual, sometimes his left has an aura that looks like a green flame (he has no idea what causes it and can't stop it from happening, generally happens when he's nervous) and seems to enjoy bitter tasting food.
Life goal: to find a girl who won't mind that he can be a little punctual when it comes to meeting him on time and enjoys life in a similar fashion to his own.
Inventory: 1 copy of Spoke's Almanac, a long sword he wears on on his belt, carries about 3 throwing knives he hides in the lining of his coat, a locket containing a picture of his mother, paints, a few brushes and a few canvas making tools, (he IS a painter after all) and a cart made of mostly found materials, a black and brown kenser to pull said cart, and a flask filled with cheap whiskey.

And try as I might, I could find the "Read Me" file. But I think I've got most everything, or am I still missing something here?

http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... acterSheet - that is an example character sheet that should help you out and...

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=76 - that is the before posting faq

You're getting there, but this needs some work to be a complete character sheet. The example Khymarah posted should help a bit. Please try to stick to the format and go into a little bit more detail Thank you

Ah, I see now. And here goes:
Name/ title:
Feanaro Telrunya

Age:
22

Race:
wick

Place of origin:
Old Rose Harbor, Anaxas

Backstory:
born into a well off family, his father was a well respected and powerful galdori and his mother was a very beautiful human. As a youth Feanaro always got into trouble, mostly using his magic for practical jokes more than anything. His magic training began as soon as he could speak. Having almost no childhood to speak of, he lashed out as a teen and one day got into a fight with a local gang of petty thugs and and was cut with a 4" long dagger that would give him his trademark feature. And now as a young adult he enjoys the simple things in life, and has a very laid back and easy going attitude, even though people don't like that. (their probably jealous)

Personality:
Generally a laid back person, Feanaro is a man that is not easy to piss off. But if you do make him mad you wont know what the heck hit you, his strikes are fast and almost invisible to an untrained eye. He spends his days drifting from town to town looking for commissions for his painting skills. But when he's in a city or town the first place he goes to is the taverns to have a few drinks and try to maybe score a date. Although he seems a bit off he is really intelligent, but a tad bit on the punctual side. And he seems to have an odd love of really bitter foods, and enjoys trying new things. To these he often puts it "why should a person have to live in a world of sameness? when there is a whole universe of new and exciting things waiting to be tried?"

He enjoys traveling and wouldn't mind living all his days wandering somewhat aimlessly and seeing the world.

Description:
has long dark brown hair that is almost always tied into a ponytail, a vertical scar on his left cheek from a fight in his teenage days, is in good shape, his face is a little more towards the typical shape of a galdori, his left eye is yellow and his right eye is emerald green and has pale skin. and has a runic tattoo on his left bicep that is suppose to help with his
left hand. (although it most of the time doesn't) And when he gets nervous his left hand is surrounded by a green aura that resembles a green flame, it is harmless to most, only causing harm to those that have intentions of harming him. (it's kinda like an advance warning system)

Inventory:

Clothes:
a brown Gandolf the Grey style wizards hat
a long gray trench coat (no shirt underneath, remember he is in good shape)
a pair of black pants with a hole in the right leg
a pair of tall leather boots that reach half way up his shins
a leather belt with four pouches attached

Weapons:
1 longsword worn at his right side
3 throwing knives hidden in his coat

mount:
a black and brown kenser

Misc. items:
1 copy of Spoke's Almanac
1 locket with his mothers picture in it
some paints, brushes, and canvas making tools
1 makeshift cart built of mostly found materials, but based on an old cart he one day found on the side of the road
1 lantern an some fuel
1 travel journal used to record new encounters
an ink pot, ink stone and an old quill pen
1 flask containing some whiskey
his grandfather's pocket watch

Artist/ healer:
*A great painter who can make the ugliest subjects seem beautiful

*goes from town to town healing the injured as well as treating the sick

*is capable of treating even those who other "doctors" declared incurable, and is sometimes mistaken for some kinda savior. (it's an awkward scenario for all involved believe me)

Goals:
Wants to some day meet a girl who enjoys life in a similar manner to his own and one day maybe have a family of his own, see the world, meet the people of various cultures and backgrounds, and try all the different traditions of this world.

I see you are having a little bit of trouble, so I'm gonna try to help, because I know everyone including me would really like to play with you But I can't approve this sheet as it is. Here are some areas that need editing, and not just changing a couple words around.

-Backstory:
You need to write more than one paragraph - aim for three solid ones. You mention his parents but not the circumstances surrounding his birth. Did his mother love his father or vice versa? Was it a one-night-stand? Why did he have no childhood? What kind of magic training did he receive? Try to be specific - write about the events that got him into trouble or what the fight with the gang was about. You mention a "trademark feature" but don't say what that is until the description, so you could go into more detail there. Say how it affected him, if it did, and if he's insecure about it etc. What "simple things" does he enjoy?

You say that people don't like his easygoing personality, but why not? In my experience, people tend to like "laid back" people more than the alternative.

Also, please make sure to check for capitalization and spelling.

Personality:
Right off the bat you're talking about his strikes, and I don't know what you mean. Where did he learn to be such an ace fighter? (no mention of this in the backstory.)

You also talk about painting skills here. Why would a fighter ALSO be a painter? It doesn't make a lot of sense, and there's no mention of that in his backstory either.

"A tad bit on the punctual side" doesn't make any sense either. He's slightly on time? There's very little about his actual personality except that he is "laid back", which also has no explanation in the backstory - why would a character who was abandoned by his father (presumably) and always in fights be laid back?

Description:
You really need to edit this part for grammar, because it seems to have a lot of run-on sentences and missed capitals.

You mention a runic tattoo that is supposed to "help with his right hand". Magical tattoos don't exist in this game. The spell you use for his right hand being "encased in flame" doesn't exist. Wicks don't have any offensive magic of that nature. The Spoke's Almanac has a list of all the spells you can have at Level 1 (basic).

Inventory:
There are no wizards hats (or wizards) in this game - just pointed hats - and please don't use copyrighted names, your character sheet should remain In Character at all times. Write it as though you were a person in this world writing about your character as though he were a real person.

There is no need to add "remember he's in shape."

Career:
This is the first you've mentioned of him being a healer. This character has entirely too many specialties. Fighter, artist, magic user and healer? None of it is fully explained in the backstory. I think you should pick one to focus on and downplay the others.

Frankly, you are way overpowering your character: "is capable of treating even those who other "doctors" declared incurable, and is sometimes mistaken for some kinda savior. (it's an awkward scenario for all involved believe me)" There is simply no way a Level 1 wick would have that kind of healing power. Wick magic is extremely limited.

----

Right now this character is not believable or logical, and his skill base is way too broad. I get almost no sense of his personality from this sheet, and it's pretty sloppy in places. Your character doesn't seem to have any personality flaws at all, which will make him pretty flat.

I suggest reading the wiki thoroughly, especially the gameplay sections, to get a better feel for the spirit of the game. This game isn't about having the character who's the best at everything. I also suggest reading other character sheets on the Yellow Pages to see what style of writing they employ. Here's a few really good ones: http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... BearBarach http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n=Main.JasperReel http://thornsbook.com/wiki/pmwiki.php?n ... iduriSasan

I hope this was helpful. Take your time editing, there's no rush at all.